I Finished :)

...in about 6 1/2 hours. I walked the last 6 miles. But holy crap, I finished a marathon! 26.2 miles in one day!

I ran the first 13 and only stopped at the water stations to walk. I made pretty good time compared to my long training runs. But my hips and ankles were hurting and from my experience on my 16-mile training run I just knew I had to take some meds or my body was gonna give out on me. The next 7 miles I alternated walking and running. By mile 20 my feet were way too sore to run anymore and I just walked.

"Hey little lady! We're gonna finish this!" At mile 20, in steps my marathon angel sporting a fedora and harmonica. That's my kind of angel! For the next 6.2 miles I was able to take my mind off my exhaustion (my body was absolutely spent and I was going solely on will power). John, my marathon angel, peppered his colorful stories with some blues songs. He told me about hunting, about his music, and about his other races. He knew exactly what I needed--distraction--and he filled it shamelessly.

I slowed down throughout the race but I never "hit the wall." I never got desperate or discouraged. I smiled and ran. I thought I was free and clear, especially with John by my side making me laugh and asking nothing in return other than that I just keep going. Then we hit mile 24.

The Quad Cities Marathon is a fantastic event, well-organized and suited for beginners as well as top athletes. It's location is stunning and makes for a lovely run. I would recommend it for anyone.

However, there is something cruel lurking in this race. That something is an out and back.

Out and back? That doesn't sound so bad, right? Half my training runs were out and backs. This out and back had something special attached to it. It was at the very end of the race. And it started near the finish line--you could see the finish, hear the other finishers cheering--and then took you out a few miles before you were allowed to turn around and head back. Cruel!

At 24 miles I hit the wall. My chest was pounding, my head felt light, every muscle and joint ached (I mean EVERY--my toes, my shoulders, and the muscles behind my knees to name a few) and water no longer solved any of these complaints. I needed to stop. With only 2.2 miles to go I was sure my body wouldn't make it, I was sure I would collapse. I slowed my pace, tried to catch my breathe, and stuck some Skittles in my mouth.

"You OK, kiddo? You're slowing down on me!" And so I kept up what felt like a merciless pace. I kept smiling, barely. And kept walking, somehow.

And it is here that I would like to take a moment and thank Japan for helping my get across that finish line. I didn't realize it until I was out there running, but my time in Japan gave me all the confidence and all the mental fortitude I'd need to finish that race. In Japan, everyday was a marathon mentally. Everyday I had to reassure myself that I was going to be OK, that I could get through another lonely winter night or another difficult class. And so, on marathon day, I just ran one mile at a time. No matter how tired I was I knew I could get through a mile. In Japan, no matter how lonely or frustrated I got I knew I could be a good teacher for one day. I could smile when I wanted to cry. And in doing so I was able to relish the small joys that came my way.

During the marathon there were Elvis impersonators, peppy high school cheerleaders, community members in lawn chairs on their driveways, and ever-cheerful water station volunteers. If I only focused on the 26.2 miles ahead of me, or the aches in my body, I would have missed these smalls moments of joy, these bursts of togetherness amid the long, lonely stretches.

I'll probably run another marathon someday. Until then, I'll keep running. Because I like to.

The Marathon is TOMORROW!

I'm here in the Quad Cities. Waiting for the marathon to start :)

Sunday, September 26th, 2010. My first marathon.

I interviewed for a job in Des Moines, Iowa earlier this week and stayed with Jordan. Friday night I went on my last training run before the marathon. I ran with Jordan. We went running after all. Along the way a woman shouted from her truck, "That's great motivation for me! Thank you!"

I couldn't help but laugh. It made me happy. If I had to pinpoint the single most important thing I've learned during this training it would be the this beautiful impression of the running world I've gotten. Running seems like such an intense sport; full of people talking about power gels and their 400s workout. Full of ultra-fit stick people. And yet, here I am. I don't feel out of place in the least. Of course I have a stubborn will but the main reason I feel like I belong in this running world is because overwhelmingly people (including truck ladies in Des Moines) have been so supportive of and encouraged by my efforts.

I am so grateful to have this chance to run.

Let's Marathoning!

Last Long Run

Miles: 16 RPE: 7

Well, I'm definitely behind schedule. Or put another way, I'm on my own schedule. Though I should be winding my training runs down by now I had yet to run more than 12 miles and I really felt that my physical and mental preparation wouldn't be on if I didn't complete this run.

To be honest, I've tried to run this for at least three weeks but each time I had an excuse for not finishing it. Sometimes I just didn't run at all to avoid it. Monday I planned to run but couldn't get out of bed early enoough (partly because I had gone to bed late but mostly because I didn't want to do this run).

I was afraid.

"What if I can't do it? What if it takes me really long? How terrible is my marathon time going to be then?! What if I walk a lot?"

Monday I finished an 8-mile run. And I had a breakthrough. Yes, two weeks before I run 26.2 miles I'm still learning how to run, in my mind. I got to a part of the trail that's in an open field, no shade. The midday sun was more fierce than I anticipated. I started getting a headache. "Oh no! I'm getting dehydrated! What if I pass out?!"

And then it dawned on me, caution and fear are two different things. Caution is what compels me to hydrate before each run and bring Gatorade with me. Caution is what compels me to stretch after each training run, even my 4-mile jaunts. Fear, on the other hand, is what keeps me in bed, keeps me from running, keeps me from pushing myself. My loops Monday were 3 miles. The sun was hot, but not that hot. I wasn't going to pass out. It was going to uncomfortable, yes, but not dangerous.

I rested Tuesday and hit the trail today at 8:30am. It's a mile walk to the trail from my parent's house so I begin and end each long run with a walk. A good mental prep for what lies ahead. I ran 8 hard miles. I tried to convince myself my body and breathing were fluid, tried to focus on my 2-mile loop and not the many, many miles ahead of me.

On mile 9 I got a call to be interviewed for a job! The good news invigorated me, but only briefly. Soon it became a distraction and I thought to myself, "You've run 8 miles, you'll have gone 10 total miles once you get back. Preparing for this job interview is more important." I stopped at my bench to drink. I almost went home.

Then I turned on my iPod and kept running. I didn't want to tell my support circle (my parents, Stephen, Jordan and another running friend, Marc) that I didn't make it.

At about mile 14 my joints stopped cooperating, particularly my ankle and hip joints. My feet were swollen and hurt to run on. I walked the last mile and then that mile home.

And by walked of course I mean hobbled :)

These last few days leading up to September 26th I'll focus my mind during my runs on visualizing the marathon: when I'll start loosening up, when I'll have to toughen my focus and start my mantras, and when to use my iPod to will another step out of my battered legs.

No fear. Let's Running!

On the Run Again

Well, here we are again! The last two weeks in Japan FLEW by and I only got about half my runs in. The first week in August I spent at my grandparents' house in Upper Michigan. I ran and my parents biked beside. Then I was off to England to see the sights and my love. Unfortunately while I was there I got some kind of horrible stomach bug and didn't run at all during the two weeks.

I got off the plane Saturday the 21st and the 22nd I was on the run again, completing a 12-mile long run. At first I was terribly discouraged because I was completing my miles in double the time it usually takes me but then I realized I was reading the trail map wrong and I was actually running a two-mile course! So no worries there :)

Lately I've been having trouble getting up early and running. In Japan it was my only option because the humidity at any other time of the day was horrible. But back home in Chicagoland it's cooling down nicely so I don't have the same motivation to get up early. I've been running about half the time in the morning and half the time in the evening.

My run yesterday was a really nice 5-mile run. I decided to try out some of the mental techniques in the book. I modified one: using the alphabet, think of characteristics that make me a good runner. It was really motivating! When the hills started slowing me down I just said anything that came to mind as quickly as I could. "Optimistic, Ready, Not-intimidated, Strong..."

I started having stomach cramps (I'm pretty sure they're stress related) and was about to stop and walk the last mile but I just wanted to run. I just needed to feel confident that I can do this. So I started yet another mantra, "No fear, no pain, just legs." With this I just tried to shut off all doubt and pain so I could finish my run.

And I did.

I've modified the schedule again. My last long run was 12 miles. I'm scheduled to run an 18-mile this week but after reading some marathon tips in Runner's World "Complete Book of Running" I've decided to be cautious to make sure I stay healthy for race day. This week I'll run a 16-mile and next week I'll run an 18-mile. That means I'll only have one 18-mile under my belt before the marathon but that should be fine. At this stage I know my body is ready. What I need to focus on is training my mind.

Let's Running!

Let's Packing!

Scheduled: 4 Actual: 3 RPE: 5

This weekend is jam-packed with good-byes. Three other English teachers that I came to Japan with two years ago are also returning home this summer and so we had a good-bye party together. Then I'll visit Stephen, go to our last Hiroshima soccer match and also go on one last trip with a co-worker of his that is an archaeologist and seems to have, at some point, curated every natural history museum in the Chugoku region. And then Monday night is a farewell party with my co-workers. Phew!

During the week I'll need to get most if not all of my packing done both at work and at home as well as preparing the house for the new teacher moving in. That being said, I know I can't do it all. I'll need to spend some concentrated and late hours packing and cleaning. I'll skip my other two runs this week and spend that time packing. I'll do my long run, though, because I want to stay on schedule with those. I think I'll push it up to ten miles since it's summer vacation now and I don't have a strict time that I need to be in the office.

So, Let's Packing/Running!

And Just Like That...I Enjoy Running!

Scheduled: 8 Actual: 8 RPE: 5

I got out late as usual but the difference this time is that I told myself it didn't matter. I was going to finish the 8 miles no matter what time it was. If I had to rush out my door and risk being late for the morning meeting, that's what I'd do!

I walked half of mile 1 and ran all of mile 2. I stopped for a drink break (sports drink). I ran another two miles then stopped to hydrate. I walked all of mile 5 and drank a lot before heading out to finish the last three miles in succession. I finished 10 minutes sooner than I anticipated!

The interesting thing about this run is that it wasn't easy. I felt slow the entire run. My hips, knees, back, and ankles were sore by mile 5. But I kept running. I can't really explain it. Usually when I know I'm stopping for a water break I'll start walking a block before my house. Today I ran right up to my house. Even as I was doing it I didn't know why. I just wanted to.

I was slow and in pain but I knew that it was ok. I'd drink a lot of water and stretch my aches out. I knew I was going to finish my run. I kept telling myself that I would. That I'd run as long as I needed to. That this run was great and that my marathon was going to be great. Not because it was going to be easy but because I was gonna finish it.

Today it felt like someone turned a switch on inside me. For no particular reason, I enjoy running. It's not any easier. I just like it.

Let's Running!

Total This Week: 18 miles Cumulative Total: 75 miles

It's All in My Head

Scheduled: 5 Actual: 4 RPE: 6-7

I'm not sure if I could have woken up in worse mood if I tried!

I had a pretty relaxing and productive night yesterday but also pretty lonesome. I feel like I am in so many places at once: trying to pack and leave Japan but also trying to apply for jobs and get ready for my life back home as well as trying to forget the part where Stephen will be in England and I will be in the States.

I haven't been sleeping enough all week and my dinner last night was popcorn and soda so as far as physical preparation goes I more or less stabbed myself in the back. I thought about skipping my morning run and doing it after school but I knew it would be too hot and I don't want to skip a run.

I laced up my shoes and tried to finish a mile. I barely made it. On a day like today no amount of mental focus was going to get me out of this rut. So I went back into my house and got my iPod. I mouthed along to the words and tried to forget how much I didn't want to be doing this and how stiff I was. Non-Runner's Trainer recommends not using a music player during the runs so you can focus on the mental techniques and pay attention to how your body feels. It makes sense to me. But not today. I needed to run so I needed to tune myself out.

I'm not sure if the mind is this powerful but I almost think my sore muscles were more mental than physical. I hadn't felt any soreness or stiffness until I started running. It may have been all in my mind.

A friend of my mom's is an amazingly dedicated runner. She's emailed me some tips. Just today I got the perfect email from her: Don't worry about the miles as much as working on your mental fortitude. Remember you can walk 1 minute for each mile you do. Take time to catch your breath, and rest. Take your time, remember the run is about a lot more than just the mileage, it is about your ability to withstand difficult situations and make it through. Perfect timing for those words, I think! Sometimes I give myself a hard time and have a little too high expectations. This isn't going to be a breeze. I'm going to have days like today. But showing up, that's important. Showing up and running.

I am a marathoner!

Let's Running.

I Am: MARATHONER

Scheduled: 5 Actual: 5 RPE: 2-3

I may have finally hit my stride. In week six, but better late than never!

Pouring again. Could barely get myself out of bed because I really didn't want to run in the rain AGAIN. I was grumpy and very discouraged in my first mile. I wanted to quit. Not just the run but the whole silly thing. A marathon?! What am I thinking?!

I don't remember exactly why or what I thought but I decided to just keep running. And I finished the run. Smiling through the last two miles. I sincerely enjoyed this run. I had to will myself to begin each mile (I stopped for a drink every mile) but once I was going, I was going!

Non-Runner's Trainer asks that we compose a positive self-talk paragraph to use when we're discouraged and throughout the day as a reminder of what we can do. who we are. Here's mine:

I am a marathoner. Impossible is nothing. I can run as long as I need to. I'm getting stronger every step. Impossible is NOTHING. I am a marathoner.

Today I just used "I am a marathoner" and at the same time (like last Friday's run) I told myself, "Just keep running." In order to keep better time with my steps I shortened it to, "I am: Marathoner." It's super silly, but it made me feel like a super hero. As if that is my identity and my super-power is running :)

Tomorrow I will run, rain or shine. And I will probably enjoy it.

Let's Running.

Downpours and Thunder and Lightning, Oh My!

Scheduled: 4 Actual: 1 RPE: 3

Though I only ran a mile, today was one of my best training runs ever. It was POURING rain. Not even my crazy, meddling neighbor was out strolling and rain usually doesn't stop her. I had plans to call Jordan after my run because it's been ages since our schedules worked out to chat and part of me thought, "Meh, why not skip the run altogether. You don't have time to finish it anyway." And as soon as I thought that I immediately said, "No way!" I'm no longer running just because I have to run to complete my marathon in September. I'm running because I like it! I like starting my day off running.

For half of my route I ran next to rice paddies and the sound of rain hitting the shallow water that the rice plants sit in is a very pretty and peaceful sound. I'm glad I got to hear that. Also, since it was pouring it wasn't humid and the run was almost pleasant (minus my soggy, spongy shoes). But thunder and lightning started during my first mile and so I decided to call it a day.

This week in Non-Runner's Trainer they emphasize the importance of self-talk and how what we say about ourselves becomes our perception about ourselves. Though this is my first experience with endurance sports, I am very familiar with the power of positive self-talk.

When I was 15-years-old my older brother died by suicide. About a year later I was taking anti-depressants and in counseling. Since then I have seen more than six different therapists, the most recent being about five years ago (I also stopped taking the medication at about this time). In a session in those dark first months the therapist asked me to compile a list of things I liked about myself. She had to help me with every single one and when I looked back on the list I realized they were all things concerning other people ("I'm kind" "I like to volunteer") and none just about me ("I'm beautiful" "I'm smart").

Whenever I 'd look in a mirror I always thought and said horrible things about myself. My negativity about my appearance had started to erode what I thought about my personality. So, I started arguments with myself. My first thought would be, "You are so ugly" but as soon as I said that I'd counter it and say, "No! You are very beautiful, Claire." It wasn't too long before I only said the positive thing and even to this day I smile at myself in mirrors, almost involuntarily.

This week's reading reminded me of this process. Much like how recovered drug-addicts are still technically addicts, I am someone who has recovered from depression, not someone cured of any traces of what once was a lifestyle. I need to always remind myself how wonderful I am, how I can run these training miles, and how I will run that marathon. It's not just a good idea, it's vital to my success. And I intend to succeed.

So, Let's Running!

A Birthday Run

Scheduled: 10 Actual: 7 RPE: 7-8

I'm 24 today! I welcomed the day at 5:00 to run my ten miles (perhaps an unrealistic goal given that last week I only ran 5 miles on my long run).

I passed my neighbor, Ms. Meddler and she said "mo chotto na" which means "a little more/a little longer/a bit more again" but given that we hadn't been talking about anything it really meant: "I'm trying to trap you into chatting with me again." But it's my birthday and I wanted to try my hardest to run as many miles as I could so I smiled, gave a little nod, and said "na" which is a really lazy way of saying "That's right" and went on my way.

It felt WONDERFUL!

I decided to walk the first mile since it helped warm me up so well on my run Wednesday. I hardly had cramps during my second mile and no leg cramps in any of the following miles. I think an alternative could also be a really slow jog to warm me up.

It was terribly hot and humid and I was sweating through all my clothes. I have never sweat that much in my life! I stopped after each mile and drank a little sports drink. And I kept running.

In my previous long runs I've had a side cramp and I assumed it was from too much water so I cut back. After reading the chapter on hydration I decided that was a dumb plan. I got the cramp again this run but as I drank more it went away.

I've decided to cut back my day 4 schedule. I'm too far behind and the leap from what I have done to what I am scheduled to do psyches me out too much. Also, this humidity is killer and I need to take that into account. I'm going to increase my long run by a mile every week and then when I get home I'll up it by 2 or 3 miles every week and get back on track to where I'm running the longest runs (18 miles) with the program.

This week the chapter was on visualization as a mental technique. For me, this will take quite a lot of practice. I am a words person predominately. We are asked at this stage to create two mental "video tapes" of our best training run and of what it will feel like to cross the finish line on marathon day. I meant to create the first tape for myself before my long run but I simply ran out of time. I decided to start with words that described my first 7-mile run and work on mental images at a later stage.

"The cool breeze refreshing me, making every step lighter, every step smoother." I've realized through this training how much my tendency to over-analyze things can get in the way of giving an honest go of something. My first year of college I took a class that gave an overview of Eastern religions. A Buddhist mantra that I still remember today is, "No thought, no mind." It's purpose is to emphasize the importance of experience, of living in the present and absorbing life. In order to make sure my visualization mantra above wasn't interrupted by unrelated thoughts I repeated, "no thought, no mind" in my head at the same time, forcing my mind to focus simply on running.

Heading out today I knew I wouldn't make all ten miles because of the time but I wanted to make sure I gave it an honest effort. I messaged both Stephen and Jordan about my run in order to motivate me to run as much as I could so that I could proudly report back to them later. In previous long runs I've walked several miles but barely run the rest. I decided I would run some of every mile. It was a bit too hot to expect myself not to walk at all but I wanted to know that I ran as much as I could until I had to stop. I felt amazing after the run!

I'm looking forward to next week when I increase the short and long runs.

Let's Running.

Total this Week: 17 miles Cumulative Total: 57 miles

Oh Hydration!

Scheduled: 3 Actual: 3 RPE: 4

My run took about 4 minutes today though that includes me walking all of my second mile. My last mile was incredible, though! I felt so loose and fluid. I'm considering walking the first mile or maybe half-mile of each run to see if that will warm me up and make my subsequent miles quicker and more enjoyable.

Also, it was relatively cool this morning which is so much more pleasant. I repeated my "only one" mantra as well as "keep going" to help will myself to run.

This week's chapter discusses hydration and recommends drinking sports drink directly before, during, and a few hours after each run. I tried that today. I brought sports drink to school and drank the bottle during the morning meeting. Unlike all the other running days previous to today I had no headache and no fatigue. Oh hydration! Where have you been? I've been drinking water like crazy but still I'd get terrible headaches and fatigue come afternoon. It was hard to tell if it was just the heat or my running that was causing the problems. Now I know.

Looking forward to Friday's run again.

Let's Running!

I Do What I Want :)

Scheduled: 5 Actual: 4 RPE: 4-5

Hot and humid again today. (Just keep running, running. running). A really good run, though. I keep forgetting I skipped one of the miles because mentally and physically I felt so wonderful during and after the run.

I was getting a discouraged because about week three the Non-Runner's Trainer mentioned that we're probably not sore or experiencing much pain at that point. I was! I was sore after and during the runs. I felt like I was doing something wrong. And again this week it mentioned that although we probably haven't had to use mental techniques up until now we will on the long runs. WHAT?! Even this far into training, even on the 3-mile runs, if I let my mind wander I easily give up (i.e. yesterday's run).

But as I was thinking about this run yesterday something my brother says came to mind. "I do what I want!" When he says it he means it sarcastically and with a little self-deprecation. If he leaves dishes in the basement, for example, and my mom hassles him for the second day he picks them up but adds, "I do what I want!" I like it. I like him. He's funny. So what if this book tells me I shouldn't need the mental techniques! I do. I am not strong because I can do anything with no effort. I am strong because even though it takes great effort I still do it. I still run.

I walked half and ran half, more or less. I repeated "Only one (mile)." I can't run 5 miles. I run each mile, each step. And that's what I tried to remind myself. Again, I ran out of time to complete the miles but it felt great to just focus on what I was doing right then.

I got the idea for the mantra from something in my book (yes, there's still lots of good stuff in here despite my previous complaints). One of the authors included an excerpt from her running journal: There was a time when I couldn't have imagined doing one mile; now I'm saying, "ONLY one mile." It's shocking to hear yourself define as "only" what you used to think would kill you.

What doesn't kill you...

Let's Running.

Week Five?!

Scheduled: 3 Actual: 2 RPE: 4

Well, I'm into week five. This realization prompted another: by the end of this month I will need to pack the last two years into two suitcases and get myself gone. Now, to be honest, I am quite ready to head home. It's been a good run (haha!) but it's been a year since I've been home and my heart is ready to be there.

With my head full of these thoughts and my endless list of things to do I could only muster two miles today. Also, I didn't get out early enough so I started the run feeling like I'd already failed.

But one highlight: I bought new shoes! Adidas Marathon 10 for 30% off! Happy early birthday to me. They are so light, cushion my feet like pillows, and remind me of Spiderman (red with blue shoelaces). What more could I ask for. And my knee pain? GONE! So, I'm going to work on clearing my mind during my runs. Just running. Only running.

Let's Running.

A Blessing Spoken Too Early in the Morning

Scheduled: 8 Actual: 5 RPE: 6

This is the end of week four, 1/4 of the way through my 16-week training program. Wow. Time is a funny thing. Hours drag as I'm sweltering in this heat with no A/C at work and yet weeks just fly by.

I wanted to run 8 miles today.But at 92% humidity and 80 degrees out frankly I am happy with how far I made it. I walked the last two miles and completed the 5-mile outing in about an hour.

I had a really weird start to the run. I will preface it with this verse from Proverbs 27:14 "A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning will be taken as a curse!"

At 5:15am I was later than I should have been but still thought I might be able to finish the run. I saw an old lady trying to make eye-contact with me and also checking her watch. As I got closer I realized I'd run into her before and it was unpleasant so I kept my eyes glued to the ground and barely replied as she said good morning to me. That was enough encouragement for her and 30 minutes and a bewildering conversation later I was finally starting my run.

The first time I had a run in with this woman was as I was trying to hurry along to work. She stopped at my house as I was packing up my bike and commented that my tree needed cutting. I was in no mood to be reprimanded by a stranger who apparently had nothing else better to do than make her neighbors late for work.

I do cut my tree, but I can't reach up to the power lines, obviously, and so there are some very long branches up there. I replied with the Japanese equivalent of, "Yeah, but it's not like I can do it!" I don't normally start conversations off rudely, especially in a language I have a minimal command of. But for the love! Monday mornings are not the time to be told you're not doing a good job. She, however, was undeterred and continued chatting with me as I mumbled responses and slowly peddled my bike and checked my watch. She got the hint and I made it to work just in time for the morning meeting, sweating profusely.

This time she asked me if I knew what Tanabata is. It's the Star Festival. You tie wishes to a bamboo shoot and the next day, July 8th, you burn the whole thing sending your wishes to the other world. I have been living in Japan for two years; I know the major holidays.

She then took me to her house to see her bamboo shoot. I took a photo of it on my phone after she leadingly noted that I had my phone with me. And then she said, "Tanabata isn't a holiday in other countries, is it?" Like many people throughout the world, this woman has a misunderstanding of what unique means in a global context. As Stephen has frequently remarked when we run into comments like this, "Yes, Japan is a unique country. In world of unique countries." No, we don't celebrate Tanabata, with it's bamboo wish shoot. Much like you don't celebrate Easter, with it's egg hunts and chaotic iconography, Ms. Meddler.

Was she trying to be friendly, if simultaneously patronizing? Of course, sweet thing. But even a cheerful greeting spoken too early in the morning will be taken as a curse. I just wanted to run.

Let's Running.


Week Total: 12 Cumulative Total: 40

Progress, Small But Mighty

Scheduled: 3 Actual: 3 RPE: 4

I ran these 3 miles in about 40 minutes. They might always be my slowest; my body really resists the effort of running.

It was a little less humid this morning but not much. I woke up and told myself I was going to finish all the miles, so I did. Also, I made plans to call a friend back home so that motivated me to get out of bed in time to run and shower before the call. It really helps me to have things outside myself motivating me to do something. That's one of the reasons I wanted to do this marathon. I really need to learn how to make myself a priority! But it will be a process so I need to try and work with myself. Giving myself another reason to wake up on time really helps.

Lately, I have noticed that I don't feel tired or sore until after I've stopped running. In weeks past I felt every little ache and discomfort; I only stopped short of naming them. But after my 7-mile run last Friday I think my mind shifted a bit from the pain. It's there, I know it's there but I just keep running. It doesn't phase me anymore. I've accepted it as a fact of my training and now I just run with it, as if it's my running buddy. Small but mighty progress.

I sprained my ankle March of 2009 and I was worried how much of this training it could handle. Since February of this year I have had low back pain and knowing that running can be a strain on your back I worried how much training my back could take. But so far I actually feel much better on the days I run as opposed to the days I don't.

I haven't had any ankle pain at all. Sometimes during my runs my back aches a bit but after stretching it feels just fine. I don't run during the weekend and that's when I notice more back pain. I'm going to stick to this training schedule with days off but once I get back to running after the marathon I think I'll run as many days a week as I can since it seems to be helping.

To be honest, though it'll make me sound like a crazy person given what I thought last week, I am really looking forward to my Friday run.

Let's Running.

Just Keep Running, Running, Running

Scheduled: 5 Actual: 3 RPE: 5-6

Ok, so I didn't run as many miles as I wanted to, again. But I went out in terrible humidity and a temperature of about 85 (at six in the morning!) and I ran. Keeping up with my miles is vital, I know. But so is getting up each day and running. The weather has been quite an obstacle so far, but I haven't stopped running. I haven't missed one day, in over three weeks. This is the most faithful I have ever been to a voluntary workout routine in my life. So there's no reason for me to feel like a failure!

I am a runner :)

I'll try to go to bed earlier so that I can wake up earlier and get out while dawn is still in process. But most of all, I will just keep running.

Let's Running!

It's HOT

Scheduled:3 Actual:1 RPE: It's HOT

My train coming home last night was more than an hour late and so I was already gonna be tired for my run. Since England vs. Germany only had a half hour left I decided to get ready for bed while watching the game. I don't know what happened to England this World Cup. I can't believe they're out!

Even though I had my A/C on I woke up and could tell it was hot. Though I got out on time, the sun was painful and my motivation was less than zero. I called it a day at one mile. I'll start my runs earlier no matter how long I'm running from now on to catch the cool dawn breeze.

But also, I may just need to suck it up. It's summer in Japan and that means that it's HOT.

Let's Running, even in summer.

A Smile is My Mantra

Schedule: 7 Actual: 7 RPE: 4

Oh wow! I had a fantastic run today! For the first time in my training, I can picture myself running and completing a marathon.

I took my phone with me but didn't keep track of the minutes per mile; I was just focusing on running. I ran an average of 11-minute miles but I know my first two miles were about 15 minutes each. I walked a few minutes to start and end my first mile. I had leg cramps as usual and stretched them several times.

I was getting myself so worked up about this run since I'd never run this many miles before. So I decided to mentally separate the run into an 3-mile and 4-mile run. I stopped for a drink at 3 miles and then carried on, telling myself that I've run 4 miles plenty of times so it doesn't matter.

At about 4 miles I hit my stride, and maybe my endorphins hit me. I think long-distance running is a good match for me. I've always struggled with keeping a workout routine and I think I now know why: I need to be working out for over an hour before I get that endorphin surge that motivates your next workout. However most workout routines last only 30 minutes.

On my ride home Thursday I was thinking to myself about my time playing softball and how exhausted and sweaty and sore I would get doing that. For the first two weeks of training each season I took ibuprofen twice a day and I was 14 years old! That helped me feel better about the aches and pains I have and about the fact that I can keep going through the pain. I've done it before. And I got stronger because of the pain. So I'll do it again.

Today, my smile was my mantra! I went to bed telling myself, "This long run is a great way to finish up the week" and woke up saying the same thing to myself (frankly I doubt there is any other way for me to get myself out of bed at 5:00 in the morning...). And that's what I told myself throughout my run. I didn't focus on too much but I also didn't let my mind wander too much. I just kept telling myself that this a perfect way to spend a Friday morning before work.

My last three miles were amazing. I smiled the whole time. I felt light and fast and strong. My muscles were loose and my breathing was more regular. The Non-Runner's Trainer reminded me to keep running the schedule, not to run more out of impatience. At the beginning of the week I thought, "Yeah right. No problem here!" But now I understand the struggle. This long run was such a positive experience there is a temptation to run this much each day. But I won't.

I was really tired after lunch and wasn't able to concentrate much. From now on I'll bring fresh fruit and juice to school Fridays so that I can have an energy boost in the afternoon.

Let's Running!

Total this Week: 17 Cumulative Total: 28

Oh Jeez!

Scheduled: 3 Actual: 3 RPE: 5-6

Walked two minutes to start and two minutes to end but otherwise ran the three miles. Wasn't my best mentally so I knew I couldn't slow down since my will wasn't there to pick me up again.

It was rainy on and off so I didn't bring my phone out with me. Probably a slow first mile again. Still feeling rusty. I averaged 14-minute miles though.

I love coming up with new mantras; I think it's the writer in me. Today's was, "I can, I will, I am." I used it almost the whole time except for a few moments when my mind wandered to unpleasant things. I'm coming to terms with leaving Japan, a place I've lived for two years, and my first real job. It's all a bit much to take in! I'm hoping that having running to focus on will help me expend some nervous energy but so far I've found plenty of time to be nervous despite my running schedule.

After my run I felt incredibly weak, light-headed. My back ached and chest felt tight. I think it was mostly anxiety related because it's cleared up throughout the day, but oh jeez it was difficult not to cry on my way to work!

I'm not sure if I'm eating too much or too little. I'm not sure if my appetite is related to my exercise or just all in my head. For breakfast I had aloe yogurt with granola, a bowl of cereal, and an English muffin with blueberry jam. Seems a bit much but I'm always hungry by lunch time. I think I better do some research.

I've got rest day tomorrow and then Friday morning I've got a 7-mile run to finish. I would be lying if I said I wasn't TERRIFIED.

But that's OK because I'll go out and run anyway.

Let's Running.

Reality Check

Scheduled: 4 Actual: 4 RPE: 4

The first mile is really a struggle for me. My body is still waking up and my mind is foggy. It probably doesn't help that half the time--or more!--I wake up to my alarm and mutter groggily to myself, "I really don't wanna do this." I'll keep working on that positive attitude. My body felt rusty; as I warmed up in that first mile I swear I heard myself creaking like the Tinman in Wizard of Oz. It was about a 17 minute mile.

Mile 2 and 3 were my best miles and I finished them in 12 minutes each. I walked about 3/4 of my last mile because of my leg cramps and finished in about 15 minutes. I think my mantra was off. Instead of just saying, "I am getting stronger" I said, "My calves are getting stronger." I think that was a mistake because it reminded me too much that my calves were cramping.

Now is time for a reality check. I have been really worried about how long my miles take. I know it's early in my training and maybe I'll get faster as I progress but I haven't had any improvement yet. I decided to calculate and see just how much trouble I was going to be in unless I didn't pick up the pace. Turns out, absolutely none! If I run an average of 12 minute miles over the course of 26.2 miles I will finish in about 5 hours, not 6 like I'm expecting. So I officially need to give myself a break and just enjoy my training.

Let's Running.

Day One of New Schedule=SUCCESS!

Scheduled: 3 miles Actual: 3 miles RPE: 5

First an update on my diet: I decided to cut out pop and french fries. I'd like to cut out all deep-fried foods but I know that if I set that rule I'd just want to break it because it seems too difficult. But by saying I won't eat fries I hope to make myself think twice before eating other deep-fried foods. I made breakfast for dinner Friday night but instead of hash browns I ate rice with my scrambled eggs and an English muffin with blueberry jam on the side. So far, so good.

It's still very humid and I started today's run pretty discouraged since I realized it'll be another three or four weeks before this humidity clears up a little. I ran and walked my first mile in 17 minutes. That's a new record for me...and not the good kind. My calf and shin muscles have been really cramped the last few runs and I think I've let that discourage me as well. I stretched half-way through my 17-minute mile but it didn't help too much. As I was getting to my house (the one-mile marker) I decided that instead of stopping like I normally do and having to will myself to start again I would just run through onto my second mile.

My legs were still cramped. My whole run I felt like I was on one of those tracks at airports that are like escalators just flat. Only that I was going the wrong way!

But I decided I was going to finish this run, run all the miles, and start week three off right. So I kept my eyes on the ground a few feet in front of me and repeated, "My legs are really sore but that's OK because that means I'm getting stronger." Eventually I shortened it to, "I'm getting stronger" and timed it with my breathing: IN IN-OUT OUT-IN IN. "I am/ get-ting/stron-ger."

And that's how I ran two solid miles without stopping. My leg cramps worked themselves out with about a half-mile to go but that's OK because I finished my run regardless.

Let's Running.

The Not-Quite-Best Laid Plans

Scheduled: 6 miles Actual: 2 miles RPE: 7

I believe my poor show today speaks to several weak links in my running plan and I have used this extremely frustrating experience as an opportunity to re-vamp my routine.

1.) Having a day off before and after the run is important both mentally and physically and in the future I will not refuse to get up.

2.) I really need to start watching my diet. All week on my running days I have felt very exhausted and weak by the afternoon. Some of that has to do with adjusting to the heat, I know. But I also know that I haven't altered my diet to include the amount of carbs and veggies/fruits that my body so desperately needs now.

My additional struggle is school lunch. We all eat the same thing and there is a policy of not wasting anything so no matter how many teachers we have on any given day in the staffroom, whether 10 or 25, we eat all the food. Insane? Yes. About a year into the crazy world of Japanese school lunch I started having trouble finishing lunch. I stopped having lunch with the students because they aren't allowed to throw out anything and I didn't want to be a bad example.

But still I could only finish half my lunch. I started eating only the soup, salad, and meat of the day and skipping the rice (I'd wrap the rice in plastic and take it home, that way it didn't look like I was wasting anything). But I realize I need to alter this plan, and risk being scolded for throwing out some of my soup since I need the carbs from the rice/noodles/bread of the day.

3.) I need to change my running schedule. The program outlined in Non-Runner's Trainer suggests we complete the long run Saturday mornings. This is a good idea for so many reasons and has worked well for most if not everyone who has followed this program. However, for my life now it is not a good plan. I only get to see Stephen on the weekends since he lives about three hours away. Taking time out of my already limited time with him kills my motivation and attitude when I run on weekends. Also, I end up running late in the morning, around 9:00 or 10:00, and by then the sun is scorching and the humidity is stifling.

Thus I unveil my new plan: eat all of the carb at lunch, carb and veggie heavy dinners, and running Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday with the long run Friday.

This way, I will avoid skipping or shortening runs and will also skip the frustration and disappointment of not finishing them. Two birds!

Total Miles This Week: 11

Let's Running.

Getting Out of Bed is the Hardest Step

Scheduled: 3 miles Actual: 3 miles! RPE: 5

I skipped my planned Thursday morning run because I refused to get out of bed. It's been a pretty mild week as far as weather and classes go so I figured I'd have energy to run after work. Boy was that a bad plan! It ended up being very hot Thursday and I was exhausted by the time I got home. There is no air-conditioning at work and sweating profusely for 8 hours a day really takes it out of me. So, instead of running I took a nap.

That threw my schedule out of whack because for my long run I'm supposed to have a day off before and after for recovery. But I decided skipping a run wasn't a good idea and went ahead with a morning run today. For some reason I had a ton of really stressful dreams and so when my alarm went off I was more than ready to get out of bed.

It was sprinkling a little so I didn't take my cell phone on this run like I usually do. I only know that I averaged about 15 minutes per mile. It was really humid like it was Tuesday and so I slowed down my already slow pace (at this stage I could probably hop these miles on one foot as fast as I'm running them).

I didn't use any mantras. I was happy to be out there running so I didn't need to focus my mind like usual. I thought about the marathon and my training routes when I get back home. I am concerned about the lack of hills in my current route and want to make sure that at least my routes back home will have hills if I can't--ironically--find them in my town in Japan. My thoughts wandered a bit but I tried to at least focus on aspects of running.

It's Another Day :)

As I expected, today was markedly better than yesterday!

I ran the scheduled 4 miles and my RPE was 4 again. My first mile was the toughest as my body was adjusting to running but my second mile was fantastic and felt like it was over in the blink of an eye (actually it was over in 12 minutes...). I got a late start again so I really pushed myself on my fourth mile in order to get home and ready for work. My average time was a little less than 13 minutes per mile with a couple minutes of walking in each.

My mind wandered a lot. I imagine conversations with people about my running, especially people I know who are runners. I definitely get a lot of motivation from other people and even the thought of a conversation really encouraged my running.

I have a new adaptation to the mantra "but it doesn't matter." After my awful run Tuesday and my bike ride to school in the rain, I sent a message to Stephen saying I was feeling anxious. He sent a message back listing all things that were probably making me anxious, adding "but that OK because" and ending with something that made it seem fine. For example, he wrote: "You're probably anxious because you didn't run as much as you wanted but that's OK because your training is going great." For this run I adopted that mantra. It gels with my disposition that's always looking to make lemonade out of lemons.

I'm really tired but that's OK because that means my body is getting stronger. It's getting really hot and humid but that's OK because I get to take cool, refreshing showers after my runs.

So, I guess, Let's Running.

You Win Some...

...you lose some. Badly.

Today's run was dreadful. I was exhausted from a fitful sleep and my muscles are still a bit sore from Sunday's long run. It's the rainy season now which means intense humidity followed by deluges. Hence the fitful sleep. Nights have been cool up until now but last night it felt as if the temperature was rising, instead of falling, throughout the night.

It was 74 degrees F. It felt like at least 85.I woke up late but thought I'd still have time to run the three miles.Not exactly. I was able to do two miles. Despite the short distance my RPE for today was 6.

I probably could have crawled the miles faster than I was running them. I tried to repeat "I'm doing this for me" and "It's terribly hot but it doesn't matter" ("but it doesn't matter" is a sentence pattern The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer recommended we adopt for any negative thoughts that float into our mind). This brought me some relief but not much.

I walked about 3 minutes each mile. I completed the first mile in 16 minutes and the second one in 15 minutes. Non-Runner's Marathon suggests not to time your runs since the whole goal of this program is finishing, regardless of time. But since I run in the mornings I need an idea of how long I take so I can allot enough time (something I failed to do today). Also I'm planning a trip to England in August to visit Stephen and his family and want to keep up my training during the trip. However, I'm not going to bother mapping out runs in all the different places I'll be traveling so I want to be able to approximate by time spent running.

Tomorrow is a new day. Today's struggles don't matter. I'll go out and run.

Let's Running!

We Went Running Update

I believe a brief update is in order.

When Jordan and I first planned to run a marathon we both worked 9-5 jobs more or less. We had time on our hands. We wanted something to test our limits. For me that hasn't changed. I'm doing the same thing I've been doing for the last year and then some. Jordan, however, is going places!

After several months as an intern for Roxanne Conlin she was offered a full-time job! She works to raise money for this amazing Senate hopeful and I am so proud of her. However, she's gone from 9-5 to about 6-midnight (on a good day). A campaign is demanding and Jordan is impressively meeting these demands. Conlin won the primary and is now facing career politician and incumbent by the name of Grassley. Jordan, like the rest of team Conlin, is giving it her all. She is certainly testing her limits!

So this time around it's just me marathon-ing. I considered switching to a different blog since the "we" seems out of place in light of the recent changes. But the more I thought about what it takes to run a marathon--confidence, support, dedication, focus--the more I realized how much of my ability to run this marathon is based on my friendship with Jordan. She is one amazing Homer. My college roommate for four years and best buddy for life, she's helped me keep going when I knew for sure I couldn't.

I wouldn't be here without Jordan and so in a very true sense, we still went running. Join us.

Week One=FINISHED!

Whoa. I just completed my first week of marathon training. That's four more days of running than I thought I was capable of!

After a lovely day in Osaka/Kobe me and my lovely boyfriend, Stephen, got back to Oku and immediately fell asleep at 10:30pm. We got up at 3:00am to watch the England vs. USA World Cup match. Due to a heart-breaking (for England fans!) error by the goalie Green it was 1-1.

USA! USA! USA!

After the game at 5:30am I went shopping at the 24-hour supermarket near my home. My intention was to then run so that I didn't have run in the summer heat. But it was lightly raining and cool so I went back to bed for another three hours. I woke up to rain. Real rain, not light rain.

Damn, I thought.

And then I went running. After thinking about my previous three runs and reading accounts of other first time marathoners in The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer I decided I had been going too easy on myself. On Friday I decided I would run all 5 miles without walking.

Mile 1: running 12 minutes. Mile 2: running 14 minutes. Mile 3: running 12 minutes. Mile 4: running 13 minutes. Mile 5: running 12 minutes.

When I'm strongest and most focused I run a mile in about 12 minutes. Hmm.

My first mile I let my mind wander; it seems that the novelty of running a first mile is enough to propel me with minimal effort. The second mile I was focusing on the pain in my ankles and knees and hips and this negativity really shows in my performance! By the third mile I realized I needed a mantra or I wasn't gonna make it. Focusing on how hard running is wasn't cutting it, believe it or not.

"Claire's doing this for her. You're doing this for you. I'm doing this for me."

And that's how I passed three miles. Sometimes I just used it to focus my breathing and strides. Other times I thought about different times other people or I would say each sentence. I felt strong.

I took a water break every two miles and a couple breaks per mile to stretch.

My RPE was 4 again. All the additional effort today was mental effort, just to keep going. It amazes me how tough my body is but how weak my will is. I always assumed it'd be the other way around. I thought my mind was pretty tough!

This week I ran 15 miles total. Whoa.

Let's Running.

3 Sleepy Miles in a Sleepy Town

It's Thursday. I am always exhausted by Thursday. I work at a junior high school. No explanation needed, probably. But not only is this Thursday, it's a Thursday in a week that has had me up about an hour earlier than usual.

My alarm buzzed. I wanted to kill it. I am unfriendly at 6:00AM. Probably just as well it's only me and Godzilla the spider who's taken up residence in my shower.

Miraculously, I was out of the house at 6:20AM to start my 3 miles. And my miraculously of course I mean that I chatted with myself, "Just get up, Claire. Just tie your shoes, Claire. Just fill up the water bottle, Claire." Sometimes "just" is a limiting, unimaginative word. In this case, I want limits, though. I want to convince myself that difficult things are really just little things.

Little things like my town. Oh Oku! In bed by 9:00 and up no earlier than 7:00. Even the traffic lights believe in this routine. Yesterday when I was out past the magic morning time I had to wait at crossings because the lights turn on at 7:00AM. Curious to know when they go off.

Today my body wasn't weak but my mind was so so sleepy. I think it's clear this training is going to be about my mind's endurance as much as my muscles'. Despite the sleepy mind I was able to run all three miles in the same time: 13 minutes running and 4 walking. I didn't think I was that slow but I just checked my notes and, yes I am in fact that slow. For now.

Today was the first time I didn't stretch between miles. I just briefly stopped for sips of water. I completed my last mile saying, "Run because you have to."

After running I love stretching. It's so relieving. I'm addicted. Right now I stretch for about 5 minutes after my run but I imagine as my runs get longer I'll stretch for longer too. I'm looking forward to that!

Let's Running.

My First 4-Mile Run :)

I woke up later than I wanted to and stared my run at 6:12AM.

I focused on consistency because my run yesterday was so undisciplined. Mile one and two I ran 10 and walked 3 minutes. Mile three I slowed down quite a bit. I was focusing on the fact that I had to run yet another mile and it was getting late so I knew I'd have to rush to make it to work on time. It's amazing because I'd think something like running, something we do as children without thinking, something we've been doing for as long as we've been we, wouldn't take much concentration. But it does!

After a sloppy mile of 8 minutes walking and 7 running I realized I needed to pick it up on my last mile to get back to my house in time to stretch, shower, and eat breakfast. I considered shortening it or skipping it altogether but then I remembered one of my simple mantras, "Run because you have to." I ran 9 and walked 2 minutes. By then the sun had peeked out from the clouds and I was panting and sweaty. A vision into my last weeks in Japan!

Mentally, today was bit more tough since I had to convince myself to keep running that last mile. But physically it was more or less as difficult as yesterday so my RPE was 4 today as well. My last mile felt very smooth, a great pace and stride. Probably because I knew it was my last :)

My legs were sore and weak directly after but throughout the day I didn't notice any pain. My toes on my right foot have been tender all day. Like blisters just without the blisters. I should watch out. That would be so uncomfortable!

Mostly my mind wandered today to thoughts of my fast-approaching homecoming which passed the time. I want to try to be present in my training, to focus. There's a balance though, I think.

Let's Running.

Week One Day One

I mapped a one mile course from my house that I'd run three times, stopping for water after each mile. I have a tendency to not sweat properly and so get over-heated easily. It's still cool in the early morning but I didn't want to take any chances. I used the super helpful site MapMyRun to make the course.

I completed the 3 miles in 40 minutes. I stared out at 6:15am. The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer asks us to log our "Ratings of Perceived Exertion" or "RPE." Basically to note how difficult the run felt. I logged this one as a 4 (somewhat hard effort) on a 10 point scale.

My first mile I completed in 11 minutes without walking. My second mile I completed in 13 minutes with 6 minutes of walking. The last mile I completed in 16 minutes with 11 minutes of walking. Every mile I stopped at my house for water and to stretch out my legs. My calf and shin muscles were extremely tight.

I think I'll walk some of the first mile tomorrow so that I can maintain more balanced miles. Overall, it wasn't as terrible as I feared. I didn't hurt myself and I completed it. With lots of sweating and walking, but I completed it. And that's what I'm here to do. To run until it's time to stop. Motivation is easier when I know I HAVE to run to this much if I want to do the marathon.

I always like stretching afterward. Lately my low back has been aching and the stretches really help. My legs were weak directly after the run but throughout the day I had no aches.

I didn't need to focus too much in order to finish but I did have a couple things running through my head during the run: "You have to run" and "Just run until it's time to stop" and "This is a great mile! Next mile will be a great mile!"

Lastly, I'm reading Haruki Murakami's memoir What I Talk About When I Talk About Running. He's an author I really like and his perspective on running and writing is interesting. He's about two decades into his running career so a little out of my league just yet but helpful nonetheless. I've found that although running is a solitary thing I really get motivation from other people's experiences and words. I think I'll keep looking out for running memoirs.

Let's Running.

It's on Folks!

Following a not so brief hiatus, I am happy to announce that, it's on folks! We're running again.

Brief update (Claire): I more or less ran twice a week until the winter. I don't have central heating in my house and that makes for a cold morning. Also, my junior high school, like most across Japan, doesn't have central heating and uses kerosene space heaters sparingly. Running before or after school was a terribly unattractive option and since the marathon was months and months away my motivation took a nose dive. Also, I have a job interview and a friend's wedding in October so the Chicago Marathon is out.

Quad Cities Marathon? IN! September 26th we'll finish our first marathon.

Tomorrow I will start the official marathon training. My pre-training has been consistent but sparse. Instead of four times a week I've been running about twice a week for the past three weeks. I am very intimidated by the 3 miles I need to run tomorrow morning.

I've been having two thoughts run through my head, "Just run until it's time to stop" and "You always have more strength." The first I got from the book we're following The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer. The second I wrote in my journal during my trip to the Philippines with Habitat for Humanity. We mixed concrete was manually. Pour in mix, pour in water, add dirt, grab shovel, and stir. After a day in the terrifically hot sun doing this I knew I'd avoid this station the next day. Next day came and I was somehow at the concrete mixing station again. So I did it. And that night I marveled at how when you need to do something, there's always more strength left in you.

Let's running!