On the Run Again

Well, here we are again! The last two weeks in Japan FLEW by and I only got about half my runs in. The first week in August I spent at my grandparents' house in Upper Michigan. I ran and my parents biked beside. Then I was off to England to see the sights and my love. Unfortunately while I was there I got some kind of horrible stomach bug and didn't run at all during the two weeks.

I got off the plane Saturday the 21st and the 22nd I was on the run again, completing a 12-mile long run. At first I was terribly discouraged because I was completing my miles in double the time it usually takes me but then I realized I was reading the trail map wrong and I was actually running a two-mile course! So no worries there :)

Lately I've been having trouble getting up early and running. In Japan it was my only option because the humidity at any other time of the day was horrible. But back home in Chicagoland it's cooling down nicely so I don't have the same motivation to get up early. I've been running about half the time in the morning and half the time in the evening.

My run yesterday was a really nice 5-mile run. I decided to try out some of the mental techniques in the book. I modified one: using the alphabet, think of characteristics that make me a good runner. It was really motivating! When the hills started slowing me down I just said anything that came to mind as quickly as I could. "Optimistic, Ready, Not-intimidated, Strong..."

I started having stomach cramps (I'm pretty sure they're stress related) and was about to stop and walk the last mile but I just wanted to run. I just needed to feel confident that I can do this. So I started yet another mantra, "No fear, no pain, just legs." With this I just tried to shut off all doubt and pain so I could finish my run.

And I did.

I've modified the schedule again. My last long run was 12 miles. I'm scheduled to run an 18-mile this week but after reading some marathon tips in Runner's World "Complete Book of Running" I've decided to be cautious to make sure I stay healthy for race day. This week I'll run a 16-mile and next week I'll run an 18-mile. That means I'll only have one 18-mile under my belt before the marathon but that should be fine. At this stage I know my body is ready. What I need to focus on is training my mind.

Let's Running!

It's All in My Head

Scheduled: 5 Actual: 4 RPE: 6-7

I'm not sure if I could have woken up in worse mood if I tried!

I had a pretty relaxing and productive night yesterday but also pretty lonesome. I feel like I am in so many places at once: trying to pack and leave Japan but also trying to apply for jobs and get ready for my life back home as well as trying to forget the part where Stephen will be in England and I will be in the States.

I haven't been sleeping enough all week and my dinner last night was popcorn and soda so as far as physical preparation goes I more or less stabbed myself in the back. I thought about skipping my morning run and doing it after school but I knew it would be too hot and I don't want to skip a run.

I laced up my shoes and tried to finish a mile. I barely made it. On a day like today no amount of mental focus was going to get me out of this rut. So I went back into my house and got my iPod. I mouthed along to the words and tried to forget how much I didn't want to be doing this and how stiff I was. Non-Runner's Trainer recommends not using a music player during the runs so you can focus on the mental techniques and pay attention to how your body feels. It makes sense to me. But not today. I needed to run so I needed to tune myself out.

I'm not sure if the mind is this powerful but I almost think my sore muscles were more mental than physical. I hadn't felt any soreness or stiffness until I started running. It may have been all in my mind.

A friend of my mom's is an amazingly dedicated runner. She's emailed me some tips. Just today I got the perfect email from her: Don't worry about the miles as much as working on your mental fortitude. Remember you can walk 1 minute for each mile you do. Take time to catch your breath, and rest. Take your time, remember the run is about a lot more than just the mileage, it is about your ability to withstand difficult situations and make it through. Perfect timing for those words, I think! Sometimes I give myself a hard time and have a little too high expectations. This isn't going to be a breeze. I'm going to have days like today. But showing up, that's important. Showing up and running.

I am a marathoner!

Let's Running.

I Am: MARATHONER

Scheduled: 5 Actual: 5 RPE: 2-3

I may have finally hit my stride. In week six, but better late than never!

Pouring again. Could barely get myself out of bed because I really didn't want to run in the rain AGAIN. I was grumpy and very discouraged in my first mile. I wanted to quit. Not just the run but the whole silly thing. A marathon?! What am I thinking?!

I don't remember exactly why or what I thought but I decided to just keep running. And I finished the run. Smiling through the last two miles. I sincerely enjoyed this run. I had to will myself to begin each mile (I stopped for a drink every mile) but once I was going, I was going!

Non-Runner's Trainer asks that we compose a positive self-talk paragraph to use when we're discouraged and throughout the day as a reminder of what we can do. who we are. Here's mine:

I am a marathoner. Impossible is nothing. I can run as long as I need to. I'm getting stronger every step. Impossible is NOTHING. I am a marathoner.

Today I just used "I am a marathoner" and at the same time (like last Friday's run) I told myself, "Just keep running." In order to keep better time with my steps I shortened it to, "I am: Marathoner." It's super silly, but it made me feel like a super hero. As if that is my identity and my super-power is running :)

Tomorrow I will run, rain or shine. And I will probably enjoy it.

Let's Running.

Downpours and Thunder and Lightning, Oh My!

Scheduled: 4 Actual: 1 RPE: 3

Though I only ran a mile, today was one of my best training runs ever. It was POURING rain. Not even my crazy, meddling neighbor was out strolling and rain usually doesn't stop her. I had plans to call Jordan after my run because it's been ages since our schedules worked out to chat and part of me thought, "Meh, why not skip the run altogether. You don't have time to finish it anyway." And as soon as I thought that I immediately said, "No way!" I'm no longer running just because I have to run to complete my marathon in September. I'm running because I like it! I like starting my day off running.

For half of my route I ran next to rice paddies and the sound of rain hitting the shallow water that the rice plants sit in is a very pretty and peaceful sound. I'm glad I got to hear that. Also, since it was pouring it wasn't humid and the run was almost pleasant (minus my soggy, spongy shoes). But thunder and lightning started during my first mile and so I decided to call it a day.

This week in Non-Runner's Trainer they emphasize the importance of self-talk and how what we say about ourselves becomes our perception about ourselves. Though this is my first experience with endurance sports, I am very familiar with the power of positive self-talk.

When I was 15-years-old my older brother died by suicide. About a year later I was taking anti-depressants and in counseling. Since then I have seen more than six different therapists, the most recent being about five years ago (I also stopped taking the medication at about this time). In a session in those dark first months the therapist asked me to compile a list of things I liked about myself. She had to help me with every single one and when I looked back on the list I realized they were all things concerning other people ("I'm kind" "I like to volunteer") and none just about me ("I'm beautiful" "I'm smart").

Whenever I 'd look in a mirror I always thought and said horrible things about myself. My negativity about my appearance had started to erode what I thought about my personality. So, I started arguments with myself. My first thought would be, "You are so ugly" but as soon as I said that I'd counter it and say, "No! You are very beautiful, Claire." It wasn't too long before I only said the positive thing and even to this day I smile at myself in mirrors, almost involuntarily.

This week's reading reminded me of this process. Much like how recovered drug-addicts are still technically addicts, I am someone who has recovered from depression, not someone cured of any traces of what once was a lifestyle. I need to always remind myself how wonderful I am, how I can run these training miles, and how I will run that marathon. It's not just a good idea, it's vital to my success. And I intend to succeed.

So, Let's Running!