On the Run Again

Well, here we are again! The last two weeks in Japan FLEW by and I only got about half my runs in. The first week in August I spent at my grandparents' house in Upper Michigan. I ran and my parents biked beside. Then I was off to England to see the sights and my love. Unfortunately while I was there I got some kind of horrible stomach bug and didn't run at all during the two weeks.

I got off the plane Saturday the 21st and the 22nd I was on the run again, completing a 12-mile long run. At first I was terribly discouraged because I was completing my miles in double the time it usually takes me but then I realized I was reading the trail map wrong and I was actually running a two-mile course! So no worries there :)

Lately I've been having trouble getting up early and running. In Japan it was my only option because the humidity at any other time of the day was horrible. But back home in Chicagoland it's cooling down nicely so I don't have the same motivation to get up early. I've been running about half the time in the morning and half the time in the evening.

My run yesterday was a really nice 5-mile run. I decided to try out some of the mental techniques in the book. I modified one: using the alphabet, think of characteristics that make me a good runner. It was really motivating! When the hills started slowing me down I just said anything that came to mind as quickly as I could. "Optimistic, Ready, Not-intimidated, Strong..."

I started having stomach cramps (I'm pretty sure they're stress related) and was about to stop and walk the last mile but I just wanted to run. I just needed to feel confident that I can do this. So I started yet another mantra, "No fear, no pain, just legs." With this I just tried to shut off all doubt and pain so I could finish my run.

And I did.

I've modified the schedule again. My last long run was 12 miles. I'm scheduled to run an 18-mile this week but after reading some marathon tips in Runner's World "Complete Book of Running" I've decided to be cautious to make sure I stay healthy for race day. This week I'll run a 16-mile and next week I'll run an 18-mile. That means I'll only have one 18-mile under my belt before the marathon but that should be fine. At this stage I know my body is ready. What I need to focus on is training my mind.

Let's Running!

I Am: MARATHONER

Scheduled: 5 Actual: 5 RPE: 2-3

I may have finally hit my stride. In week six, but better late than never!

Pouring again. Could barely get myself out of bed because I really didn't want to run in the rain AGAIN. I was grumpy and very discouraged in my first mile. I wanted to quit. Not just the run but the whole silly thing. A marathon?! What am I thinking?!

I don't remember exactly why or what I thought but I decided to just keep running. And I finished the run. Smiling through the last two miles. I sincerely enjoyed this run. I had to will myself to begin each mile (I stopped for a drink every mile) but once I was going, I was going!

Non-Runner's Trainer asks that we compose a positive self-talk paragraph to use when we're discouraged and throughout the day as a reminder of what we can do. who we are. Here's mine:

I am a marathoner. Impossible is nothing. I can run as long as I need to. I'm getting stronger every step. Impossible is NOTHING. I am a marathoner.

Today I just used "I am a marathoner" and at the same time (like last Friday's run) I told myself, "Just keep running." In order to keep better time with my steps I shortened it to, "I am: Marathoner." It's super silly, but it made me feel like a super hero. As if that is my identity and my super-power is running :)

Tomorrow I will run, rain or shine. And I will probably enjoy it.

Let's Running.

Downpours and Thunder and Lightning, Oh My!

Scheduled: 4 Actual: 1 RPE: 3

Though I only ran a mile, today was one of my best training runs ever. It was POURING rain. Not even my crazy, meddling neighbor was out strolling and rain usually doesn't stop her. I had plans to call Jordan after my run because it's been ages since our schedules worked out to chat and part of me thought, "Meh, why not skip the run altogether. You don't have time to finish it anyway." And as soon as I thought that I immediately said, "No way!" I'm no longer running just because I have to run to complete my marathon in September. I'm running because I like it! I like starting my day off running.

For half of my route I ran next to rice paddies and the sound of rain hitting the shallow water that the rice plants sit in is a very pretty and peaceful sound. I'm glad I got to hear that. Also, since it was pouring it wasn't humid and the run was almost pleasant (minus my soggy, spongy shoes). But thunder and lightning started during my first mile and so I decided to call it a day.

This week in Non-Runner's Trainer they emphasize the importance of self-talk and how what we say about ourselves becomes our perception about ourselves. Though this is my first experience with endurance sports, I am very familiar with the power of positive self-talk.

When I was 15-years-old my older brother died by suicide. About a year later I was taking anti-depressants and in counseling. Since then I have seen more than six different therapists, the most recent being about five years ago (I also stopped taking the medication at about this time). In a session in those dark first months the therapist asked me to compile a list of things I liked about myself. She had to help me with every single one and when I looked back on the list I realized they were all things concerning other people ("I'm kind" "I like to volunteer") and none just about me ("I'm beautiful" "I'm smart").

Whenever I 'd look in a mirror I always thought and said horrible things about myself. My negativity about my appearance had started to erode what I thought about my personality. So, I started arguments with myself. My first thought would be, "You are so ugly" but as soon as I said that I'd counter it and say, "No! You are very beautiful, Claire." It wasn't too long before I only said the positive thing and even to this day I smile at myself in mirrors, almost involuntarily.

This week's reading reminded me of this process. Much like how recovered drug-addicts are still technically addicts, I am someone who has recovered from depression, not someone cured of any traces of what once was a lifestyle. I need to always remind myself how wonderful I am, how I can run these training miles, and how I will run that marathon. It's not just a good idea, it's vital to my success. And I intend to succeed.

So, Let's Running!

Oh Hydration!

Scheduled: 3 Actual: 3 RPE: 4

My run took about 4 minutes today though that includes me walking all of my second mile. My last mile was incredible, though! I felt so loose and fluid. I'm considering walking the first mile or maybe half-mile of each run to see if that will warm me up and make my subsequent miles quicker and more enjoyable.

Also, it was relatively cool this morning which is so much more pleasant. I repeated my "only one" mantra as well as "keep going" to help will myself to run.

This week's chapter discusses hydration and recommends drinking sports drink directly before, during, and a few hours after each run. I tried that today. I brought sports drink to school and drank the bottle during the morning meeting. Unlike all the other running days previous to today I had no headache and no fatigue. Oh hydration! Where have you been? I've been drinking water like crazy but still I'd get terrible headaches and fatigue come afternoon. It was hard to tell if it was just the heat or my running that was causing the problems. Now I know.

Looking forward to Friday's run again.

Let's Running!

A Blessing Spoken Too Early in the Morning

Scheduled: 8 Actual: 5 RPE: 6

This is the end of week four, 1/4 of the way through my 16-week training program. Wow. Time is a funny thing. Hours drag as I'm sweltering in this heat with no A/C at work and yet weeks just fly by.

I wanted to run 8 miles today.But at 92% humidity and 80 degrees out frankly I am happy with how far I made it. I walked the last two miles and completed the 5-mile outing in about an hour.

I had a really weird start to the run. I will preface it with this verse from Proverbs 27:14 "A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning will be taken as a curse!"

At 5:15am I was later than I should have been but still thought I might be able to finish the run. I saw an old lady trying to make eye-contact with me and also checking her watch. As I got closer I realized I'd run into her before and it was unpleasant so I kept my eyes glued to the ground and barely replied as she said good morning to me. That was enough encouragement for her and 30 minutes and a bewildering conversation later I was finally starting my run.

The first time I had a run in with this woman was as I was trying to hurry along to work. She stopped at my house as I was packing up my bike and commented that my tree needed cutting. I was in no mood to be reprimanded by a stranger who apparently had nothing else better to do than make her neighbors late for work.

I do cut my tree, but I can't reach up to the power lines, obviously, and so there are some very long branches up there. I replied with the Japanese equivalent of, "Yeah, but it's not like I can do it!" I don't normally start conversations off rudely, especially in a language I have a minimal command of. But for the love! Monday mornings are not the time to be told you're not doing a good job. She, however, was undeterred and continued chatting with me as I mumbled responses and slowly peddled my bike and checked my watch. She got the hint and I made it to work just in time for the morning meeting, sweating profusely.

This time she asked me if I knew what Tanabata is. It's the Star Festival. You tie wishes to a bamboo shoot and the next day, July 8th, you burn the whole thing sending your wishes to the other world. I have been living in Japan for two years; I know the major holidays.

She then took me to her house to see her bamboo shoot. I took a photo of it on my phone after she leadingly noted that I had my phone with me. And then she said, "Tanabata isn't a holiday in other countries, is it?" Like many people throughout the world, this woman has a misunderstanding of what unique means in a global context. As Stephen has frequently remarked when we run into comments like this, "Yes, Japan is a unique country. In world of unique countries." No, we don't celebrate Tanabata, with it's bamboo wish shoot. Much like you don't celebrate Easter, with it's egg hunts and chaotic iconography, Ms. Meddler.

Was she trying to be friendly, if simultaneously patronizing? Of course, sweet thing. But even a cheerful greeting spoken too early in the morning will be taken as a curse. I just wanted to run.

Let's Running.


Week Total: 12 Cumulative Total: 40

It's HOT

Scheduled:3 Actual:1 RPE: It's HOT

My train coming home last night was more than an hour late and so I was already gonna be tired for my run. Since England vs. Germany only had a half hour left I decided to get ready for bed while watching the game. I don't know what happened to England this World Cup. I can't believe they're out!

Even though I had my A/C on I woke up and could tell it was hot. Though I got out on time, the sun was painful and my motivation was less than zero. I called it a day at one mile. I'll start my runs earlier no matter how long I'm running from now on to catch the cool dawn breeze.

But also, I may just need to suck it up. It's summer in Japan and that means that it's HOT.

Let's Running, even in summer.

Oh Jeez!

Scheduled: 3 Actual: 3 RPE: 5-6

Walked two minutes to start and two minutes to end but otherwise ran the three miles. Wasn't my best mentally so I knew I couldn't slow down since my will wasn't there to pick me up again.

It was rainy on and off so I didn't bring my phone out with me. Probably a slow first mile again. Still feeling rusty. I averaged 14-minute miles though.

I love coming up with new mantras; I think it's the writer in me. Today's was, "I can, I will, I am." I used it almost the whole time except for a few moments when my mind wandered to unpleasant things. I'm coming to terms with leaving Japan, a place I've lived for two years, and my first real job. It's all a bit much to take in! I'm hoping that having running to focus on will help me expend some nervous energy but so far I've found plenty of time to be nervous despite my running schedule.

After my run I felt incredibly weak, light-headed. My back ached and chest felt tight. I think it was mostly anxiety related because it's cleared up throughout the day, but oh jeez it was difficult not to cry on my way to work!

I'm not sure if I'm eating too much or too little. I'm not sure if my appetite is related to my exercise or just all in my head. For breakfast I had aloe yogurt with granola, a bowl of cereal, and an English muffin with blueberry jam. Seems a bit much but I'm always hungry by lunch time. I think I better do some research.

I've got rest day tomorrow and then Friday morning I've got a 7-mile run to finish. I would be lying if I said I wasn't TERRIFIED.

But that's OK because I'll go out and run anyway.

Let's Running.

Day One of New Schedule=SUCCESS!

Scheduled: 3 miles Actual: 3 miles RPE: 5

First an update on my diet: I decided to cut out pop and french fries. I'd like to cut out all deep-fried foods but I know that if I set that rule I'd just want to break it because it seems too difficult. But by saying I won't eat fries I hope to make myself think twice before eating other deep-fried foods. I made breakfast for dinner Friday night but instead of hash browns I ate rice with my scrambled eggs and an English muffin with blueberry jam on the side. So far, so good.

It's still very humid and I started today's run pretty discouraged since I realized it'll be another three or four weeks before this humidity clears up a little. I ran and walked my first mile in 17 minutes. That's a new record for me...and not the good kind. My calf and shin muscles have been really cramped the last few runs and I think I've let that discourage me as well. I stretched half-way through my 17-minute mile but it didn't help too much. As I was getting to my house (the one-mile marker) I decided that instead of stopping like I normally do and having to will myself to start again I would just run through onto my second mile.

My legs were still cramped. My whole run I felt like I was on one of those tracks at airports that are like escalators just flat. Only that I was going the wrong way!

But I decided I was going to finish this run, run all the miles, and start week three off right. So I kept my eyes on the ground a few feet in front of me and repeated, "My legs are really sore but that's OK because that means I'm getting stronger." Eventually I shortened it to, "I'm getting stronger" and timed it with my breathing: IN IN-OUT OUT-IN IN. "I am/ get-ting/stron-ger."

And that's how I ran two solid miles without stopping. My leg cramps worked themselves out with about a half-mile to go but that's OK because I finished my run regardless.

Let's Running.

The Not-Quite-Best Laid Plans

Scheduled: 6 miles Actual: 2 miles RPE: 7

I believe my poor show today speaks to several weak links in my running plan and I have used this extremely frustrating experience as an opportunity to re-vamp my routine.

1.) Having a day off before and after the run is important both mentally and physically and in the future I will not refuse to get up.

2.) I really need to start watching my diet. All week on my running days I have felt very exhausted and weak by the afternoon. Some of that has to do with adjusting to the heat, I know. But I also know that I haven't altered my diet to include the amount of carbs and veggies/fruits that my body so desperately needs now.

My additional struggle is school lunch. We all eat the same thing and there is a policy of not wasting anything so no matter how many teachers we have on any given day in the staffroom, whether 10 or 25, we eat all the food. Insane? Yes. About a year into the crazy world of Japanese school lunch I started having trouble finishing lunch. I stopped having lunch with the students because they aren't allowed to throw out anything and I didn't want to be a bad example.

But still I could only finish half my lunch. I started eating only the soup, salad, and meat of the day and skipping the rice (I'd wrap the rice in plastic and take it home, that way it didn't look like I was wasting anything). But I realize I need to alter this plan, and risk being scolded for throwing out some of my soup since I need the carbs from the rice/noodles/bread of the day.

3.) I need to change my running schedule. The program outlined in Non-Runner's Trainer suggests we complete the long run Saturday mornings. This is a good idea for so many reasons and has worked well for most if not everyone who has followed this program. However, for my life now it is not a good plan. I only get to see Stephen on the weekends since he lives about three hours away. Taking time out of my already limited time with him kills my motivation and attitude when I run on weekends. Also, I end up running late in the morning, around 9:00 or 10:00, and by then the sun is scorching and the humidity is stifling.

Thus I unveil my new plan: eat all of the carb at lunch, carb and veggie heavy dinners, and running Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday with the long run Friday.

This way, I will avoid skipping or shortening runs and will also skip the frustration and disappointment of not finishing them. Two birds!

Total Miles This Week: 11

Let's Running.

Getting Out of Bed is the Hardest Step

Scheduled: 3 miles Actual: 3 miles! RPE: 5

I skipped my planned Thursday morning run because I refused to get out of bed. It's been a pretty mild week as far as weather and classes go so I figured I'd have energy to run after work. Boy was that a bad plan! It ended up being very hot Thursday and I was exhausted by the time I got home. There is no air-conditioning at work and sweating profusely for 8 hours a day really takes it out of me. So, instead of running I took a nap.

That threw my schedule out of whack because for my long run I'm supposed to have a day off before and after for recovery. But I decided skipping a run wasn't a good idea and went ahead with a morning run today. For some reason I had a ton of really stressful dreams and so when my alarm went off I was more than ready to get out of bed.

It was sprinkling a little so I didn't take my cell phone on this run like I usually do. I only know that I averaged about 15 minutes per mile. It was really humid like it was Tuesday and so I slowed down my already slow pace (at this stage I could probably hop these miles on one foot as fast as I'm running them).

I didn't use any mantras. I was happy to be out there running so I didn't need to focus my mind like usual. I thought about the marathon and my training routes when I get back home. I am concerned about the lack of hills in my current route and want to make sure that at least my routes back home will have hills if I can't--ironically--find them in my town in Japan. My thoughts wandered a bit but I tried to at least focus on aspects of running.

You Win Some...

...you lose some. Badly.

Today's run was dreadful. I was exhausted from a fitful sleep and my muscles are still a bit sore from Sunday's long run. It's the rainy season now which means intense humidity followed by deluges. Hence the fitful sleep. Nights have been cool up until now but last night it felt as if the temperature was rising, instead of falling, throughout the night.

It was 74 degrees F. It felt like at least 85.I woke up late but thought I'd still have time to run the three miles.Not exactly. I was able to do two miles. Despite the short distance my RPE for today was 6.

I probably could have crawled the miles faster than I was running them. I tried to repeat "I'm doing this for me" and "It's terribly hot but it doesn't matter" ("but it doesn't matter" is a sentence pattern The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer recommended we adopt for any negative thoughts that float into our mind). This brought me some relief but not much.

I walked about 3 minutes each mile. I completed the first mile in 16 minutes and the second one in 15 minutes. Non-Runner's Marathon suggests not to time your runs since the whole goal of this program is finishing, regardless of time. But since I run in the mornings I need an idea of how long I take so I can allot enough time (something I failed to do today). Also I'm planning a trip to England in August to visit Stephen and his family and want to keep up my training during the trip. However, I'm not going to bother mapping out runs in all the different places I'll be traveling so I want to be able to approximate by time spent running.

Tomorrow is a new day. Today's struggles don't matter. I'll go out and run.

Let's Running!

Week One=FINISHED!

Whoa. I just completed my first week of marathon training. That's four more days of running than I thought I was capable of!

After a lovely day in Osaka/Kobe me and my lovely boyfriend, Stephen, got back to Oku and immediately fell asleep at 10:30pm. We got up at 3:00am to watch the England vs. USA World Cup match. Due to a heart-breaking (for England fans!) error by the goalie Green it was 1-1.

USA! USA! USA!

After the game at 5:30am I went shopping at the 24-hour supermarket near my home. My intention was to then run so that I didn't have run in the summer heat. But it was lightly raining and cool so I went back to bed for another three hours. I woke up to rain. Real rain, not light rain.

Damn, I thought.

And then I went running. After thinking about my previous three runs and reading accounts of other first time marathoners in The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer I decided I had been going too easy on myself. On Friday I decided I would run all 5 miles without walking.

Mile 1: running 12 minutes. Mile 2: running 14 minutes. Mile 3: running 12 minutes. Mile 4: running 13 minutes. Mile 5: running 12 minutes.

When I'm strongest and most focused I run a mile in about 12 minutes. Hmm.

My first mile I let my mind wander; it seems that the novelty of running a first mile is enough to propel me with minimal effort. The second mile I was focusing on the pain in my ankles and knees and hips and this negativity really shows in my performance! By the third mile I realized I needed a mantra or I wasn't gonna make it. Focusing on how hard running is wasn't cutting it, believe it or not.

"Claire's doing this for her. You're doing this for you. I'm doing this for me."

And that's how I passed three miles. Sometimes I just used it to focus my breathing and strides. Other times I thought about different times other people or I would say each sentence. I felt strong.

I took a water break every two miles and a couple breaks per mile to stretch.

My RPE was 4 again. All the additional effort today was mental effort, just to keep going. It amazes me how tough my body is but how weak my will is. I always assumed it'd be the other way around. I thought my mind was pretty tough!

This week I ran 15 miles total. Whoa.

Let's Running.

It's All in Your Head

Although me and Homer are doing this together, we are an ocean apart. So throughout this experience, I've begun having conversations in my head.

Before I get too far let me say plainly: I would not be able to do this without my little buddy in Ames, Iowa. In fact, even today as I was attempting to convince myself to get out of my warm bed and run in the cold rain I got an email to my phone from Homer. Even though the email was about football woes (our teams didn't have a good showing this Sunday) it reminded me that she's getting out of bed to run and so can I. And I ran.

However, in the end, this marathon is our own. The 26.2 miles will be run by our legs alone. So how do we go about getting ourselves through this training?

The book me and Homer are working through for this process emphasizes the importance of positive self-talk in marathon training/running. Though directing our self-talk might sound creepy and a bit bunk, the reality is we say things to ourselves about ourselves and our lives all time, so why not fill yourself up with good things?

The book suggests we come up with a paragraph to repeat to ourselves over and over so that we think strong, positive thoughts about our training. Here's my paragraph and with it a glimpse of the things I've been struggling with so far:

I am a marathoner. I love getting up early to run. I love the first half of runs; I feel energized and fast. I love seeing students on my runs. I am not in perfect shape but I can run perfectly. I am a marathoner.

As cold is setting in I'm beginning to realize my need for motivation greatly increase, even if it's in the form of a creepily positive paragraph I repeat again and again in my own head.

(I hate Favre!)

Morning Runs...?

Full disclosure: Since my last post I have gone on (again!) only two walk/runs.

Better news: one walk/run was in the morning!

School is now back in full swing so instead of getting home around 4:30pm I get home around 5:30 or 6:00pm. Japan doesn't do the whole daylight savings shenanigan so these days it gets dark around 6:45pm. I have found that by the time I run errands after school and finally get into my running clothes...well, I've got about a 15 minute window of daylight left.

Which wouldn't be so bad.

Full disclosure 2: I am actually a little afraid of the dark. Plus I have no established routes; I just run down streets until I have to find my way back again. Doing that in the dark would probably be much less exciting and much more terrifying.

So on my last after school run I came upon an interesting thought. I was trying to decide if I should push myself a bit more than I am. I sprained my ankle in March which is making me additionally cautious. But I then thought about my life as an athlete and all I used to do so maybe I'm just being lazy...?

Then it came to me: I was an athlete up until my junior year of high school. I was probably strongest my freshmen year. That was almost ten years ago.

I think our bodies keep much better track of the passage of time than our minds do.

Nothing to be discouraged about. I used to be 14 years old and incredibly fit. Now I'm 23 years old, mildly unfit and a bit over-weight. That's reality. I still feel like a running god for not giving up on this whole thing. But keeping reality in mind instead of some self-concept almost a decade old will certainly help keep me from injury and definitely from making unrealistic goals/expectations.

I love mornings but find getting up early to be next to impossible. I knew I had to switch my walk/runs to mornings, however, because it's only going to get darker the closer we get to winter.

I got up in time for only a 15 minute walk/run so I decided to give myself a minute walk before and after but then run the rest of the time. I'm usually making it about a mile but this morning I didn't even make it a half mile. Right now in my training it's just about time spent running and not mileage but I like to keep these things in mind for when miles begin to matter this spring when we start our hardcore marathon training.

It was raining. But I wore a hat. Almost refreshing except for the squish in my shoes.

Best things about running in mornings: after school I don't have to do anything!

Keep on keeping on,
Claire