I Do What I Want :)

Scheduled: 5 Actual: 4 RPE: 4-5

Hot and humid again today. (Just keep running, running. running). A really good run, though. I keep forgetting I skipped one of the miles because mentally and physically I felt so wonderful during and after the run.

I was getting a discouraged because about week three the Non-Runner's Trainer mentioned that we're probably not sore or experiencing much pain at that point. I was! I was sore after and during the runs. I felt like I was doing something wrong. And again this week it mentioned that although we probably haven't had to use mental techniques up until now we will on the long runs. WHAT?! Even this far into training, even on the 3-mile runs, if I let my mind wander I easily give up (i.e. yesterday's run).

But as I was thinking about this run yesterday something my brother says came to mind. "I do what I want!" When he says it he means it sarcastically and with a little self-deprecation. If he leaves dishes in the basement, for example, and my mom hassles him for the second day he picks them up but adds, "I do what I want!" I like it. I like him. He's funny. So what if this book tells me I shouldn't need the mental techniques! I do. I am not strong because I can do anything with no effort. I am strong because even though it takes great effort I still do it. I still run.

I walked half and ran half, more or less. I repeated "Only one (mile)." I can't run 5 miles. I run each mile, each step. And that's what I tried to remind myself. Again, I ran out of time to complete the miles but it felt great to just focus on what I was doing right then.

I got the idea for the mantra from something in my book (yes, there's still lots of good stuff in here despite my previous complaints). One of the authors included an excerpt from her running journal: There was a time when I couldn't have imagined doing one mile; now I'm saying, "ONLY one mile." It's shocking to hear yourself define as "only" what you used to think would kill you.

What doesn't kill you...

Let's Running.