Let's Packing!

Scheduled: 4 Actual: 3 RPE: 5

This weekend is jam-packed with good-byes. Three other English teachers that I came to Japan with two years ago are also returning home this summer and so we had a good-bye party together. Then I'll visit Stephen, go to our last Hiroshima soccer match and also go on one last trip with a co-worker of his that is an archaeologist and seems to have, at some point, curated every natural history museum in the Chugoku region. And then Monday night is a farewell party with my co-workers. Phew!

During the week I'll need to get most if not all of my packing done both at work and at home as well as preparing the house for the new teacher moving in. That being said, I know I can't do it all. I'll need to spend some concentrated and late hours packing and cleaning. I'll skip my other two runs this week and spend that time packing. I'll do my long run, though, because I want to stay on schedule with those. I think I'll push it up to ten miles since it's summer vacation now and I don't have a strict time that I need to be in the office.

So, Let's Packing/Running!

And Just Like That...I Enjoy Running!

Scheduled: 8 Actual: 8 RPE: 5

I got out late as usual but the difference this time is that I told myself it didn't matter. I was going to finish the 8 miles no matter what time it was. If I had to rush out my door and risk being late for the morning meeting, that's what I'd do!

I walked half of mile 1 and ran all of mile 2. I stopped for a drink break (sports drink). I ran another two miles then stopped to hydrate. I walked all of mile 5 and drank a lot before heading out to finish the last three miles in succession. I finished 10 minutes sooner than I anticipated!

The interesting thing about this run is that it wasn't easy. I felt slow the entire run. My hips, knees, back, and ankles were sore by mile 5. But I kept running. I can't really explain it. Usually when I know I'm stopping for a water break I'll start walking a block before my house. Today I ran right up to my house. Even as I was doing it I didn't know why. I just wanted to.

I was slow and in pain but I knew that it was ok. I'd drink a lot of water and stretch my aches out. I knew I was going to finish my run. I kept telling myself that I would. That I'd run as long as I needed to. That this run was great and that my marathon was going to be great. Not because it was going to be easy but because I was gonna finish it.

Today it felt like someone turned a switch on inside me. For no particular reason, I enjoy running. It's not any easier. I just like it.

Let's Running!

Total This Week: 18 miles Cumulative Total: 75 miles

It's All in My Head

Scheduled: 5 Actual: 4 RPE: 6-7

I'm not sure if I could have woken up in worse mood if I tried!

I had a pretty relaxing and productive night yesterday but also pretty lonesome. I feel like I am in so many places at once: trying to pack and leave Japan but also trying to apply for jobs and get ready for my life back home as well as trying to forget the part where Stephen will be in England and I will be in the States.

I haven't been sleeping enough all week and my dinner last night was popcorn and soda so as far as physical preparation goes I more or less stabbed myself in the back. I thought about skipping my morning run and doing it after school but I knew it would be too hot and I don't want to skip a run.

I laced up my shoes and tried to finish a mile. I barely made it. On a day like today no amount of mental focus was going to get me out of this rut. So I went back into my house and got my iPod. I mouthed along to the words and tried to forget how much I didn't want to be doing this and how stiff I was. Non-Runner's Trainer recommends not using a music player during the runs so you can focus on the mental techniques and pay attention to how your body feels. It makes sense to me. But not today. I needed to run so I needed to tune myself out.

I'm not sure if the mind is this powerful but I almost think my sore muscles were more mental than physical. I hadn't felt any soreness or stiffness until I started running. It may have been all in my mind.

A friend of my mom's is an amazingly dedicated runner. She's emailed me some tips. Just today I got the perfect email from her: Don't worry about the miles as much as working on your mental fortitude. Remember you can walk 1 minute for each mile you do. Take time to catch your breath, and rest. Take your time, remember the run is about a lot more than just the mileage, it is about your ability to withstand difficult situations and make it through. Perfect timing for those words, I think! Sometimes I give myself a hard time and have a little too high expectations. This isn't going to be a breeze. I'm going to have days like today. But showing up, that's important. Showing up and running.

I am a marathoner!

Let's Running.

I Am: MARATHONER

Scheduled: 5 Actual: 5 RPE: 2-3

I may have finally hit my stride. In week six, but better late than never!

Pouring again. Could barely get myself out of bed because I really didn't want to run in the rain AGAIN. I was grumpy and very discouraged in my first mile. I wanted to quit. Not just the run but the whole silly thing. A marathon?! What am I thinking?!

I don't remember exactly why or what I thought but I decided to just keep running. And I finished the run. Smiling through the last two miles. I sincerely enjoyed this run. I had to will myself to begin each mile (I stopped for a drink every mile) but once I was going, I was going!

Non-Runner's Trainer asks that we compose a positive self-talk paragraph to use when we're discouraged and throughout the day as a reminder of what we can do. who we are. Here's mine:

I am a marathoner. Impossible is nothing. I can run as long as I need to. I'm getting stronger every step. Impossible is NOTHING. I am a marathoner.

Today I just used "I am a marathoner" and at the same time (like last Friday's run) I told myself, "Just keep running." In order to keep better time with my steps I shortened it to, "I am: Marathoner." It's super silly, but it made me feel like a super hero. As if that is my identity and my super-power is running :)

Tomorrow I will run, rain or shine. And I will probably enjoy it.

Let's Running.

Downpours and Thunder and Lightning, Oh My!

Scheduled: 4 Actual: 1 RPE: 3

Though I only ran a mile, today was one of my best training runs ever. It was POURING rain. Not even my crazy, meddling neighbor was out strolling and rain usually doesn't stop her. I had plans to call Jordan after my run because it's been ages since our schedules worked out to chat and part of me thought, "Meh, why not skip the run altogether. You don't have time to finish it anyway." And as soon as I thought that I immediately said, "No way!" I'm no longer running just because I have to run to complete my marathon in September. I'm running because I like it! I like starting my day off running.

For half of my route I ran next to rice paddies and the sound of rain hitting the shallow water that the rice plants sit in is a very pretty and peaceful sound. I'm glad I got to hear that. Also, since it was pouring it wasn't humid and the run was almost pleasant (minus my soggy, spongy shoes). But thunder and lightning started during my first mile and so I decided to call it a day.

This week in Non-Runner's Trainer they emphasize the importance of self-talk and how what we say about ourselves becomes our perception about ourselves. Though this is my first experience with endurance sports, I am very familiar with the power of positive self-talk.

When I was 15-years-old my older brother died by suicide. About a year later I was taking anti-depressants and in counseling. Since then I have seen more than six different therapists, the most recent being about five years ago (I also stopped taking the medication at about this time). In a session in those dark first months the therapist asked me to compile a list of things I liked about myself. She had to help me with every single one and when I looked back on the list I realized they were all things concerning other people ("I'm kind" "I like to volunteer") and none just about me ("I'm beautiful" "I'm smart").

Whenever I 'd look in a mirror I always thought and said horrible things about myself. My negativity about my appearance had started to erode what I thought about my personality. So, I started arguments with myself. My first thought would be, "You are so ugly" but as soon as I said that I'd counter it and say, "No! You are very beautiful, Claire." It wasn't too long before I only said the positive thing and even to this day I smile at myself in mirrors, almost involuntarily.

This week's reading reminded me of this process. Much like how recovered drug-addicts are still technically addicts, I am someone who has recovered from depression, not someone cured of any traces of what once was a lifestyle. I need to always remind myself how wonderful I am, how I can run these training miles, and how I will run that marathon. It's not just a good idea, it's vital to my success. And I intend to succeed.

So, Let's Running!

A Birthday Run

Scheduled: 10 Actual: 7 RPE: 7-8

I'm 24 today! I welcomed the day at 5:00 to run my ten miles (perhaps an unrealistic goal given that last week I only ran 5 miles on my long run).

I passed my neighbor, Ms. Meddler and she said "mo chotto na" which means "a little more/a little longer/a bit more again" but given that we hadn't been talking about anything it really meant: "I'm trying to trap you into chatting with me again." But it's my birthday and I wanted to try my hardest to run as many miles as I could so I smiled, gave a little nod, and said "na" which is a really lazy way of saying "That's right" and went on my way.

It felt WONDERFUL!

I decided to walk the first mile since it helped warm me up so well on my run Wednesday. I hardly had cramps during my second mile and no leg cramps in any of the following miles. I think an alternative could also be a really slow jog to warm me up.

It was terribly hot and humid and I was sweating through all my clothes. I have never sweat that much in my life! I stopped after each mile and drank a little sports drink. And I kept running.

In my previous long runs I've had a side cramp and I assumed it was from too much water so I cut back. After reading the chapter on hydration I decided that was a dumb plan. I got the cramp again this run but as I drank more it went away.

I've decided to cut back my day 4 schedule. I'm too far behind and the leap from what I have done to what I am scheduled to do psyches me out too much. Also, this humidity is killer and I need to take that into account. I'm going to increase my long run by a mile every week and then when I get home I'll up it by 2 or 3 miles every week and get back on track to where I'm running the longest runs (18 miles) with the program.

This week the chapter was on visualization as a mental technique. For me, this will take quite a lot of practice. I am a words person predominately. We are asked at this stage to create two mental "video tapes" of our best training run and of what it will feel like to cross the finish line on marathon day. I meant to create the first tape for myself before my long run but I simply ran out of time. I decided to start with words that described my first 7-mile run and work on mental images at a later stage.

"The cool breeze refreshing me, making every step lighter, every step smoother." I've realized through this training how much my tendency to over-analyze things can get in the way of giving an honest go of something. My first year of college I took a class that gave an overview of Eastern religions. A Buddhist mantra that I still remember today is, "No thought, no mind." It's purpose is to emphasize the importance of experience, of living in the present and absorbing life. In order to make sure my visualization mantra above wasn't interrupted by unrelated thoughts I repeated, "no thought, no mind" in my head at the same time, forcing my mind to focus simply on running.

Heading out today I knew I wouldn't make all ten miles because of the time but I wanted to make sure I gave it an honest effort. I messaged both Stephen and Jordan about my run in order to motivate me to run as much as I could so that I could proudly report back to them later. In previous long runs I've walked several miles but barely run the rest. I decided I would run some of every mile. It was a bit too hot to expect myself not to walk at all but I wanted to know that I ran as much as I could until I had to stop. I felt amazing after the run!

I'm looking forward to next week when I increase the short and long runs.

Let's Running.

Total this Week: 17 miles Cumulative Total: 57 miles

Oh Hydration!

Scheduled: 3 Actual: 3 RPE: 4

My run took about 4 minutes today though that includes me walking all of my second mile. My last mile was incredible, though! I felt so loose and fluid. I'm considering walking the first mile or maybe half-mile of each run to see if that will warm me up and make my subsequent miles quicker and more enjoyable.

Also, it was relatively cool this morning which is so much more pleasant. I repeated my "only one" mantra as well as "keep going" to help will myself to run.

This week's chapter discusses hydration and recommends drinking sports drink directly before, during, and a few hours after each run. I tried that today. I brought sports drink to school and drank the bottle during the morning meeting. Unlike all the other running days previous to today I had no headache and no fatigue. Oh hydration! Where have you been? I've been drinking water like crazy but still I'd get terrible headaches and fatigue come afternoon. It was hard to tell if it was just the heat or my running that was causing the problems. Now I know.

Looking forward to Friday's run again.

Let's Running!

I Do What I Want :)

Scheduled: 5 Actual: 4 RPE: 4-5

Hot and humid again today. (Just keep running, running. running). A really good run, though. I keep forgetting I skipped one of the miles because mentally and physically I felt so wonderful during and after the run.

I was getting a discouraged because about week three the Non-Runner's Trainer mentioned that we're probably not sore or experiencing much pain at that point. I was! I was sore after and during the runs. I felt like I was doing something wrong. And again this week it mentioned that although we probably haven't had to use mental techniques up until now we will on the long runs. WHAT?! Even this far into training, even on the 3-mile runs, if I let my mind wander I easily give up (i.e. yesterday's run).

But as I was thinking about this run yesterday something my brother says came to mind. "I do what I want!" When he says it he means it sarcastically and with a little self-deprecation. If he leaves dishes in the basement, for example, and my mom hassles him for the second day he picks them up but adds, "I do what I want!" I like it. I like him. He's funny. So what if this book tells me I shouldn't need the mental techniques! I do. I am not strong because I can do anything with no effort. I am strong because even though it takes great effort I still do it. I still run.

I walked half and ran half, more or less. I repeated "Only one (mile)." I can't run 5 miles. I run each mile, each step. And that's what I tried to remind myself. Again, I ran out of time to complete the miles but it felt great to just focus on what I was doing right then.

I got the idea for the mantra from something in my book (yes, there's still lots of good stuff in here despite my previous complaints). One of the authors included an excerpt from her running journal: There was a time when I couldn't have imagined doing one mile; now I'm saying, "ONLY one mile." It's shocking to hear yourself define as "only" what you used to think would kill you.

What doesn't kill you...

Let's Running.

Week Five?!

Scheduled: 3 Actual: 2 RPE: 4

Well, I'm into week five. This realization prompted another: by the end of this month I will need to pack the last two years into two suitcases and get myself gone. Now, to be honest, I am quite ready to head home. It's been a good run (haha!) but it's been a year since I've been home and my heart is ready to be there.

With my head full of these thoughts and my endless list of things to do I could only muster two miles today. Also, I didn't get out early enough so I started the run feeling like I'd already failed.

But one highlight: I bought new shoes! Adidas Marathon 10 for 30% off! Happy early birthday to me. They are so light, cushion my feet like pillows, and remind me of Spiderman (red with blue shoelaces). What more could I ask for. And my knee pain? GONE! So, I'm going to work on clearing my mind during my runs. Just running. Only running.

Let's Running.

A Blessing Spoken Too Early in the Morning

Scheduled: 8 Actual: 5 RPE: 6

This is the end of week four, 1/4 of the way through my 16-week training program. Wow. Time is a funny thing. Hours drag as I'm sweltering in this heat with no A/C at work and yet weeks just fly by.

I wanted to run 8 miles today.But at 92% humidity and 80 degrees out frankly I am happy with how far I made it. I walked the last two miles and completed the 5-mile outing in about an hour.

I had a really weird start to the run. I will preface it with this verse from Proverbs 27:14 "A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning will be taken as a curse!"

At 5:15am I was later than I should have been but still thought I might be able to finish the run. I saw an old lady trying to make eye-contact with me and also checking her watch. As I got closer I realized I'd run into her before and it was unpleasant so I kept my eyes glued to the ground and barely replied as she said good morning to me. That was enough encouragement for her and 30 minutes and a bewildering conversation later I was finally starting my run.

The first time I had a run in with this woman was as I was trying to hurry along to work. She stopped at my house as I was packing up my bike and commented that my tree needed cutting. I was in no mood to be reprimanded by a stranger who apparently had nothing else better to do than make her neighbors late for work.

I do cut my tree, but I can't reach up to the power lines, obviously, and so there are some very long branches up there. I replied with the Japanese equivalent of, "Yeah, but it's not like I can do it!" I don't normally start conversations off rudely, especially in a language I have a minimal command of. But for the love! Monday mornings are not the time to be told you're not doing a good job. She, however, was undeterred and continued chatting with me as I mumbled responses and slowly peddled my bike and checked my watch. She got the hint and I made it to work just in time for the morning meeting, sweating profusely.

This time she asked me if I knew what Tanabata is. It's the Star Festival. You tie wishes to a bamboo shoot and the next day, July 8th, you burn the whole thing sending your wishes to the other world. I have been living in Japan for two years; I know the major holidays.

She then took me to her house to see her bamboo shoot. I took a photo of it on my phone after she leadingly noted that I had my phone with me. And then she said, "Tanabata isn't a holiday in other countries, is it?" Like many people throughout the world, this woman has a misunderstanding of what unique means in a global context. As Stephen has frequently remarked when we run into comments like this, "Yes, Japan is a unique country. In world of unique countries." No, we don't celebrate Tanabata, with it's bamboo wish shoot. Much like you don't celebrate Easter, with it's egg hunts and chaotic iconography, Ms. Meddler.

Was she trying to be friendly, if simultaneously patronizing? Of course, sweet thing. But even a cheerful greeting spoken too early in the morning will be taken as a curse. I just wanted to run.

Let's Running.


Week Total: 12 Cumulative Total: 40